The new and improved Kuwabara
by Saichi
Summary: When Kuwabara has a bet with Seto what happens? Read it and find out for yourself!
1. The bet of a gentleman

The New and Improved Kuwabara [Story 1]  
  
Hee hee! Hey guys back with another one o my crazy fics! In this fic Seto and Mokuba make a deal with Kuwabara that if he can act like a gentleman for three months they will give him twenty bucks. [Great deal lol] To find out what happens to Kuwabara..READ!  
  
Kuwabara: No!!! Wait! Don't read it!  
  
Saichi: Too late!! HAHAHAHA!!  
  
Part 1: The deal of a gentleman.  
  
Kuwabara: *Yawn It's kinda boring just sitting here in the park.  
  
[I do not own YYH]  
  
Tess: Oh look what the cat hacked up.  
  
Kuwabara: What'd you say punk?  
  
Tess: Shadow did it! Ahh! Every man for himself!  
  
Kuwabara: *Running after Tess..Get back here!!!  
  
Rachelle: Yaay Kuwabara!!  
  
Kuwabara: What the hell?  
  
Yusuke flies in..and kicks Kuwabara.  
  
Kuwabara: What the heck was that for!?  
  
Yusuke is wearing pimpin' sunglasses.  
  
Yusuke: Well..nothing really..  
  
Rachelle: YAAAY KUWABARA!!!!!!  
  
Kuwabara: Who is that kid?  
  
Yusuke: Some little girl I hired to bug you.  
  
Kuwabara: Why the heck did she agree?  
  
Yusuke: 'Cause I gave her a quarter.  
  
Kuwabara: You're an idiot! Why did you do that!?  
  
Yusuke: Like I said. To bug you that's all.  
  
Kuwabara: Oh Yeah! I was chasing that girl who talks to her plushies! *Looks over where she was. WHAT? She's not there!  
  
Marina/Kurama: What's going on guys?  
  
Kuwabara: That Tess person got away from me! [whispers to self, damn she's fast!]  
  
Yusuke: You say something Kuwabara?  
  
Kuwabara: No nothing at all.  
  
All but Kuwabara: See ya later Kuwabara! *They all walk away While walking away..  
  
Marina: Nice glasses Yusuke!  
  
Yusuke: Thanks I know!  
  
Kuwabara: Okay that was weird..  
  
Strange voice: Hey you!  
  
Kuwabara: Huh? [looks over] Who the heck are you!?  
  
Seto: I'm Seto Kaiba.  
  
[ I do not own YGO either.]  
  
Kuwabara: So what do you want from me?  
  
Seto: I'm here to make a deal with you. I know all about the way you act around other people.  
  
Kuwabara: So?  
  
Mokuba: We are gonna make a bet with you.  
  
Kuwabara: Another little kid?! Urameshi if this is you again I'm gonna get you good for this!  
  
Seto: You idiot! This is my little brother Mokuba!!  
  
Kuwabara: Oh sorry. You were saying about a deal?  
  
Seto: Yes. The deal is if you can be a gentleman for three months we will give you twenty bucks.  
  
Kuwabara: Why twenty bucks?  
  
Mokuba: Because I said! And if you don't like it Seto here will turn you into Sailor Jupiter!  
  
Kuwabara: What the!? Fine I'll do it just don't turn me into that gay thing!!  
  
[I don't own SM]  
  
Seto: Yes I've had that happen to me once.. [seen in another fic under *mokubaliker1 really good writer!]  
  
Kuwabara: *Cracks up laughing.  
  
Seto: What are you laughing at you idiot!?  
  
Kuwabara: HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Seto: Errr.. *sweat mark. So you'll do it then?  
  
Kuwabara: I already said yes! *still laughing  
  
Seto: Good we will be watching you. Mokuba!  
  
Mokuba: Right Seto!  
  
They leave.  
  
Part 2: Scary Scary! Kuwabara?  
  
Taylor: Hmm..my list is all the same..  
  
Taylor's list of stuff to do:  
  
Kill Kyle Kill Kyle Kill Kyle  
  
So on and so forth the same thing..  
  
Taylor: Yep. That's what I do! Kill Kyle!  
  
*Knock knock!  
  
Taylor: I'll get it!  
  
Opens door..  
  
Taylor: Hello?  
  
Kuwabara: Good morning my really great extremely close [so close I could touch] friend!  
  
Taylor: EEAAAKK!! NASTY YOU PERVERTED CREEP!!!! *SLAP!!!  
  
Kuwabara: *Seeing stars Oh so sorry.  
  
Taylor: What the hell is wrong with you?!  
  
Kuwabara: Nothing my close-  
  
Taylor: Don't you even start!! * Hand in air..  
  
Kuwabara: Okay..  
  
Taylor: What the heck's wrong with you then?!  
  
Kuwabara: Like I said nothing. *Comes up closer to face and smiles very creepy like.  
  
Taylor: Man Kuwabara! You're creepin' me out stop!!  
  
Kuwabara: May I come in? [usually just walks in]  
  
Taylor: Only for good perposes.. *Grabs a stick.  
  
Kuwabara: Fine.  
  
Inside Taylor's house  
  
Taylor: So why are you acting like that then?  
  
Kuwabara: Um.. come under the city bridge at 11:00 and I'll tell you.  
  
Taylor: Um.. why not just tell me here?  
  
Kuwabara: I..I can't. I mean I really would! But just come!  
  
Taylor: [suspiciously] Okay Kuwabara.. You'd just better not do anything pervy like you usually do!  
  
Kuwabara: I promise I wont..  
  
DING DONG!!!  
  
Taylor: I'll get it!  
  
Voice: Hey let me in!  
  
Taylor: Okay one second![opens door] Oh! Hey Krissy!  
  
Krissy: Hello Taylor!  
  
Taylor: Come in..  
  
Krissy: So what are you- EAK!! What's ugly doin' here!?  
  
Taylor: Eh!? Um.. Get HIM!!!  
  
Krissy/Taylor: KYAA!  
  
Kuwabara: *To himself..Finally! I get the ladies! ..but that's not what they did instead..  
  
Krissy: Eat my bad food!!! She somehow gets some really nasty looking food in her hand.  
  
Kuwabara: AHH!!!!  
  
Taylor: EAT STICK ELAPHANT CRAP!!!!!  
  
Kuwabara: Running for his life.. AHHH!!!! *runs out the door  
  
Voice: So you failed with the ladies huh?  
  
Kuwabara: Huh?! Who's there?  
  
Seto: It's me again you idiot you can't even tell from my voice?  
  
Kuwabara: What'd you say pretty boy!? Oopps!  
  
Seto: Don't worry you're allowed to talk like that around me..sadly..  
  
Kuwabara: Why do I have to do this anyways?  
  
Seto: You didn't.  
  
Kuwabara: But you said you'd turn me into a sailor scout!!  
  
Seto: That was a lie, I can't do it only your cursed friends can that would be mainly Krissy.  
  
Kuwabara: WHAT!? YOU LITTLE PRETTY BOY!!! YOU'RE GONNA DIE NOW! *Charges at Seto.  
  
Seto: Feh.. [He disappears]  
  
Kuwabara: What the?  
  
Hiei: What are you doing idiot?  
  
Kuwabara: Oh hi Hiei, how was your day?  
  
Hiei: What the heck's wrong with you today?  
  
Kuwabara: Um..meet me under the cities bridge at 11:00 and I'll tell you!  
  
Hiei: No tell me now!  
  
Kuwabara: No! I mean I can't!  
  
Hiei: Well I'm not coming then.  
  
Kuwabara: Fine then you don't have to! I mean very well..  
  
Hiei: Whatever.. *walks away.  
  
Kuwabara: [He sees Tess] Hey ma'am how are you?  
  
Tess: AHH!! He's nuts!!  
  
Kuwabara: No actually I'm Kuwabara.  
  
Tess: Ha ha very funny that joke sucked. And why you acting like that?  
  
Kuwabara: *Sigh* Meet me under the cities bridge at 11:00 and I'll tell you.. and don't ask me why I don't tell you here 'cause I can't.  
  
Tess: Whatever! Hits him with a really hard rock and runs.  
  
Kuwabara: *Frozen I'm gonna kill her!!  
  
Kurama: Oh hi Kuwabara!  
  
Kuwabara: Hello Kurama nice day? And don't ask!  
  
Kurama: Don't worry Hiei told me about the bridge and I wanna know what's happening to you. I'll be there. Bye!  
  
Kuwabara: Great Kuwabara's got friends. Oh tell everyone else too!  
  
Kurama: Okay!  
  
Kuwabara: Well this is gonna be fun..  
  
End Chappie 1!! Hope you liked it!  
  
Authors note  
  
Hi it's me again! Hope you liked this fic I love torturing Kuwabara! No offence to Kuwabara lovers! I think Yusuke would look cool in pimpin glasses don't you? Well that's it for now! R&R!! Good luck with your fics too! Bye Bye! 


	2. The meeting under the bridge! Seto's new...

The New and Improved Kuwabara 2  
  
[Story 2]  
  
Saichi: Hey there welcome back on another eventful day of torturing Kuwabara! This is the part where they all well..you'll have to read yerself if ya wanna know!  
  
Kuwabara: No wait! You don't wanna know anything!  
  
Saichi: To late! Chappie 2 sequence.. BEGIN!  
ENJOY. Part 3: The bad news. Kurama: Well we're all here Kuwabara what's the news?  
  
Marina: Yeah I mean you're really creeping us all out!  
  
Kuwabara: Well sorry!! That idiot Seto tricked me into accepting that dumb bet!  
  
Yusuke: What bet!? [still wearing pimpin sun glasses]  
  
Tess: Um.. why are you wearing those at night Yusuke?  
  
Yusuke: * Holding finger in the sky, because they're cool!  
  
Tess: That's so neat! *Glomps Yusuke.*  
  
Yusuke: Heh heh..  
  
Kuwabara: Well this weirdo and his brother came up to me as soon as you left the park and..he told me that if I didn't except his bet he'd turn me into a Sailor Scout!  
  
[don't own SM or YYH Or YGO!]  
  
Yusuke: HAHAHAHA!! And you fell for it! You're an idiot!  
  
Kuwabara: Shut up Urameshi! I wasn't done. Then he said I gotta be a gentleman for three months, and I get twenty bucks.  
  
Krissy: That's it!? That's kinda stupid ugly.  
  
Kuwabara: Yeah I know that Demon!  
  
Taylor: Okay guys no fighting if Kuwabara has to be a "gentleman."  
  
Kuwabara: Oh be quiet!  
  
Taylor: That's not very polite Kuwabara.. *snicker*  
  
Kuwabara: Give me a break okay?  
  
Hiei: You're pathetic.  
  
Kuwabara: Wha!? I thought you weren't gonna come!  
  
Hiei: I changed my mind. It's a free country you know.  
  
Kuwabara: But you said-  
  
Marina: Drop it you two!  
  
Kuwabara: Fine but he started it!  
  
Hiei: Krissy! Get over here and punch him in the face!  
  
Krissy: Okay *walks over and punches Kuwabara in the face.  
  
Kuwabara: Oww what was that for?!  
  
Krissy: Hiei said so! And he's my bishi!  
  
Hiei: Feh..  
  
Kuwabara: Okay whatever.  
  
Rachelle: YAAY KUWABARA!  
  
Kuwabara: Yusuke you still have her working for you!?  
  
Yusuke: Yes actually.  
  
Tess: Let's all go home and drink hot chocolate!  
  
Yusuke: Okay..  
  
Tess: *Glomps Yusuke.  
  
Back at Taylor's house  
  
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~  
  
Kuwabara: So what can I do? I mean I have to stay like this for three months! Its too long..  
  
Marina: Well we could always ask that Seto person to lower it to one month.  
  
Hiei: I don't think so.  
  
Marina: Huh? Why not Hiei?  
  
Hiei: I've heard of this person before said to only appear at very rare times.  
  
Krissy: Wow you must feel pretty special since he came to you Kuwabaka.  
  
Kuwabara: What'd you call me?  
  
Krissy: I said you were BAKA! [Japanese for stupid, idiot, or fool]  
  
Kurama: Okay that's enough you two.  
  
Marina: What he said!  
  
Kuwabara: *Turns away.  
  
Krissy: *Throws boiling hot, hot chocolate at Kuwabara.  
  
Kuwabara: What the heck was that for!? All of a sudden sees a figure in the window. It's Seto!  
  
All but Kuwabara: Huh?!  
  
Seto: *Walks in door* Hello my good friends.  
  
Marina: Good friends!? We don't even know you!  
  
Seto: I'm here to tell you some good news.  
  
All but Seto: Huh?!  
  
Part 4: A trick or really good news!? Be on guard! ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~  
  
Kuwabara: Well? What is it then pretty boy!?  
  
Seto: I've heard what you've said I'm cutting it back to a month.  
  
Taylor: How does he know what we've been saying!? We've been in my house the whole time!  
  
Tess: AHH! A stalker! EEAAKK!!! *Throws a Seto plushie at him.  
  
Seto: This is how they make me!? My face is demented!  
  
Tess: I know it is! And look! Its got Sailor moon popin' action! [She squeezes it and Seto is wearing a Sailor Jupiter Outfit.  
  
[like I said don't own SM]  
  
Seto: AAHH! [he backs away] Get that thing away from me!!  
  
Krissy: Starts chasing him around]  
  
Kuwabara: Well.. I guess that is good news then.. sips cup of hot chocolate *burns his mouth*  
  
End Chappie 2!!  
  
Saichi: So how was it!? No offence to any Kuwabara lovers! Hope you liked it the next one will be even better! And humiliating! [To Kuwabara that is.]  
  
Kuwabara: No! Humiliating is bad!!  
  
Saichi: Humiliating good!! [devil laugh]  
  
Good luck with your fics too! Bye Bye! For now at least MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!! 


	3. We gotta get him out!

The New and Improved  
  
Kuwabara 3 [Story 3]  
  
Saichi: Well been awhile, well I'm back with more torturing Kuwabara!  
  
Kuwabara: NNOOO!!!  
  
Saichi: In this one we will take turns picking on Kuwabara so he'll lose the bet.  
  
Kuwabara: What!? No one told me that!!  
  
Saichi: Be good Kuwabara. *Snicker  
  
Kuwabara: Oh shaddup!  
  
ENJOY.  
  
Part 4: Torture time Kuwabara! Little kids attack! ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~  
  
Taylor: So we have a plan Marina? [Oldest of our little group]  
  
Marina: Yep! I say we get that Seto guys little brother and ask him to help us!  
  
Tess: Shadow likes these plans since he always tries to destroy Sonic, he can destroy someone else now!  
  
Krissy: Tess, I thought you liked Sonic? [Don't own Sonic, YGO, or YYH.]  
  
Tess: I love all the little peoples of the Sonic team!  
  
Krissy: Peoples. . .  
  
Marina: So what about it guys?  
  
Taylor: Sounds good!  
  
Tess: Everyone say "I" if yes.  
  
All: I!!  
  
Tess: I go first!  
  
Krissy: Okay nothing with a plushie though!  
  
Tess: HEE, HEE! PLUSHIE GOOD!  
  
Hiei: Isn't that kind of childish?  
  
All but Hiei: BWAA!  
  
Hiei: Feh. . .you humans bore me! Why don't we just go for the kill now?  
  
Taylor: Kill!?  
  
Tess: Hmm?  
  
Marina: What? Kill?  
  
Krissy: Hmmm . . . not a bad idea Hiei! *Glomps Hiei*  
  
Hiei: Eww . . .  
  
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kuwabara: Uh . . . This is dumb! I told those guys to be here by 1:00! This Japanese restaurant doesn't pay for itself ya know!  
  
Yusuke: Oh hey Kuwabara, I'm here and all that.  
  
Tess: And me too!  
  
Kuwabara: Oh man you brought a friend?  
  
Kurama: And me too. *Sweat mark*  
  
Marina: [Clinging to Kurama] Hi everyone!  
  
Hiei: AHHH! GET HER AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All but Hiei: Hmm?  
  
Taylor: I thought you liked Krissy?  
  
Hiei: I'd rather eat a dead rat.  
  
Krissy: Aww, I know you're just saying that he sees me as a beautiful person.  
  
Marina: Ah yeah . . .  
  
Kuwabara: Let's eat already, I'm starved!  
  
Krissy: Wow this is better than the time I tried to cook Sushi.  
  
Hiei: Eww I remember that . . . [As seen in mokubaliker1 fics Ruby version.]  
  
Kuwabara: Yeah I remember that and then you burnt my eyes with soup!  
  
Kurama: *Snicker*  
  
Kuwabara: Err . . .  
  
Yusuke: Um . . . she's drooling on me!  
  
Taylor: Seems that way Yusuke.  
  
Tess: Woops Sorry Yusuke.  
  
All: *Sitting down at table now*  
  
Tess: Okay guys here it comes! [Whispers to companions]  
  
Waiter: Hello! We are serving a special today here's your hot cloths.  
  
BOING!!!  
  
Tess: Heh, Heh! The special is actually steaming hot plushie surprise!!  
  
Kuwabara: *Getting Burnt badly* OW, OW, OW!  
  
Waiter: Oh my gosh!  
  
Kuwabara: HOT, HOT, HOT! [Runs over to another table and throws beer on himself.]  
  
Kuwabara: *Sigh*  
  
Taylor: Heh, heh! Hey Kuwabara! You're driving us home okay!?  
  
Kuwabara: Fine.  
  
*Starts driving*  
  
BWWWOOOOPPPP! Sound of police car.  
  
Kuwabara: Oh man what know?  
  
Tess/ Krissy/ Taylor/ Marina: *Snicker*  
  
Police officer: Excuse me sir but could you get out of the car a moment please?  
  
Kuwabara: Um . . . sure.  
  
Police: Walk across this line please. Walk straight.  
  
[Step, step, step]  
  
Police: Hmm . . . that's strange you can walk in a straight line . . . but you smell of beer . . .  
  
Kuwabara: *Anime Fall* Oh wait I can explain!  
  
Taylor: Part one of making Kuwabara's life a living hell complete.  
  
Part 5: Kuwabara's the jail-bird, Run bad soup! Krissy's surprise!! ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Police: I'm sorry but you smell of beer and drinking and driving is prohibited in this area.  
  
Kuwabara: BUT I DIDN'T DRINK AND DRIVE!! [Now tied to a chair]  
  
Hiei: Hey friend how ya doing [Now wearing Yusuke's pimpin' glasses]  
  
Kuwabara: What the heck are you doing you idiot!? Tell them what really happened!  
  
Hiei: Fine, he got drunk at a bar, and danced around like a hippie, than he showered himself in beer.  
  
Kuwabara: What the heck are you talkin' about!?  
  
Hiei: That's it sir.  
  
Police: I-I-I-I-I see. You're under arrest sir.  
  
Later at Taylor's house.. ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~  
  
Taylor: Now that Kuwabara's in jail . . . what do you wanna do?  
  
Tess: I dunno.  
  
Marina: No one to pick on.  
  
Krissy: And we sent the hot guy to get him in more trouble.  
  
All: * Sigh*  
  
Krissy: I got it! We'll get proof he's good.  
  
Marina: No we'll bust him out!  
  
Taylor: I never thought I'd have to do this but . . . POWER OF LOVE! LOVE HINA BOOST! [All of a sudden a bright light fills the room!] [don't own LH]  
  
Marina: OMG!  
  
Tess: WOOW!  
  
Krissy: Scary . . .  
  
Taylor: Now dressed like a princess.  
  
Kurama: *Walks in* Hello what's wrong? Um . . .who's that?  
  
Taylor: Err . . .uh . . .dammit! How does everyone know each and every time!? Fine! I admit I'm not your friend Taylor. I'm warrior Sokogi sent by the great Seto himself.  
  
Marina: What'd you do with my friend!?  
  
Krissy: Yeah if you don't tell us I'm gonna get all kung fu like!  
  
Tess: . . .  
  
Kurama: I didn't really know that you were someone else . . .  
  
Sokoji: You will get her back once you get the idiot out of jail. And Rose boy, you will pay!  
  
All: Lets go then!  
  
In some strange cellar . . . ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Taylor [for real]: Hello? Anybody there? Please?  
  
Familiar voice: Don't fret. Your friends will have you back soon enough.  
  
Taylor: I know that voice! . . . It's Seto!  
  
Seto: DING, DING, DING, DING! I guess you wanna cookie now don't you?  
  
Taylor: Err . . .lemme go you freakin' girl snatching freak-a-zoid!  
  
Seto: In time my friend, in time. [closing door]  
  
Taylor: AND YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!  
  
Back with the others . . . ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Police: Weren't you the people with this man at the time?  
  
Marina: Yes sir!  
  
Tess: R~I~G~H~T.  
  
Yusuke: Yeah.  
  
Kurama: Yes sir.  
  
Krissy: Yes ma'am . . .I mean . . .sir.  
  
Police: [Gives Krissy a dirty look.] Well what do you need?  
  
Marina: That you took to prison a couple hours ago . . .he's inocent.  
  
Police: But a man that was his friend [or seemed to be at least] told me . . .  
  
Two minutes later . . .  
  
Police: Get out of here you scoundrel.  
  
Kuwabara: Guys you rescued me!  
  
Marina: Actually . . .we just did this because Taylor is being held captive at Seto's place and he said if we helped you we get her back.  
  
Kuwabara: Seto!? Him again!?  
  
Seto: Well done.  
  
All: Ah! Seto!  
  
Krissy/ Tess/ Marina: Give us our friend back!  
  
Seto: Fine take her she bit my finger. [holding Taylor's arm really hard flings her at Kuwabara]  
  
Taylor: KYAAA!  
  
Krissy: No wait I'll help you Taylor! [throws a bowl of soup at Kuwabara hitting him in the eyes.]  
  
Kuwabara: MNPH!  
  
Taylor: Bumps heads with the police man.  
  
Police: faints.  
  
All: Lets go!  
  
Marina: Common Taylor [dragging Taylor out]  
  
One hour later . . .  
  
Krissy: She still out?  
  
Marina: Like a do-  
  
Taylor: *opening eyes* Hi guys I'm all right.  
  
Kuwabara: Err . . .two more weeks . . .  
  
END FOR NOW . . .  
  
Episode 3!  
  
Marina: What!? You two are entering soft ball?  
  
Krissy/ Taylor: Yes!  
  
Out on the field Krissy and Taylor are having trouble with the game! But when a mysterious light shines from the sky who could it be!? KUWABARA! Will this idiot be able to help? [and not go to jail] Or will he be a nuisance? Find out next time on . . . Kuwabara's base ball game!  
  
Kurama: Isn't this soft ball?  
  
Saichi: Okay guys it could take a while but I'll try hard! Enjoy. 


End file.
